Well, shit, y’all. My date nights just got ruined. The aisles at Costco may be clogged with people stocking up on 900-piece chicken tender platters and 800-roll toilet paper bushels ahead of coronavirus panic, but some of us budget bitches bypassed membership altogether and just went straight to the food court. Life hack alert! You didn’t need to mooch off your mom’s Costco card to get into the Shangri-La of $1.50 hot dog and Cokes. Well, that used to be a life hack alert.

The number…

Sauce